Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Princesses don't give blow jobs
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Randomize
