i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
