I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
