there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
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