Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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