Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
how drunk are you?
Several
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
