Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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