last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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