i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
