Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You smell like stripper and shame
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
