Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
