drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
