Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
i now understand why vodka
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize