How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You pole danced in your parka.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
