She went from zero to smokin in five shots
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize