He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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