The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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