: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize