He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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