dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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