i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
