Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
