It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
