We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
