i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
