I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
