Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
