Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
