Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
