she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
