Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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