I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
