look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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