you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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