mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
