I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
