why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
