Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize