3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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