So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
