ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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