sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
