he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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