We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize