Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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