How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
