Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
