is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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