I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
