The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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