You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
