Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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