I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
