I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
