I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Buhtt sex?
My pussy is not your playground.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
