yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Randomize
