I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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