I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
