There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
