I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
