3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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