So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
