do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
