I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
