OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
