Heybabeimwearingurpanties
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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