go do what you do best...puke behind churches
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
